The Accentus Life Fertility Forum

Welcome to the Accentus Life Fertility Forum, we, the founders Emma and Jonno, live and work in Dorset and London. We are 36 years and 33years old, respectively, and we are both hard working professionals.

We have been married for 3 years, and have been together since 2007. For the last 3 years we have tried to become pregnant and have both yearned to have a family.

The Accentus Life Fertility Forum has been created here in Dorset, so we can help other couples on their fertility journey.

You might say that we are a fairly ordinary couple, we are fit, healthy, and yet for the past few years we have been trying very hard to conceive.  Since we decided to start a family we have been on the biggest emotional journey ever!  This is a journey that doesn’t end until you reach you goal and you can’t get off the emotional rollercoaster that surrounds you, until you do so.

Going through the fertility process isn’t easy, from time to time it can make you feel alone,  angry, vulnerable, anxious, helpless, frustrated, that no one understands and above all STRESSED and a FAILURE. All of these emotions ultimately can have a knock on affect, and they can make it more difficult to fall pregnant. It’s a never ending, sometimes very painful circle.

As a couple we have struggled to get answers or advice from our GP and been made to feel like we are wasting their time, yet all we want and need is often reassurance that everything would be ok, that there is help on hand if we need it and above all else that we have options.

In September 2013 we had 8 glorious weeks of being pregnant and felt on cloud nine, we had finally achieved our goal or so we thought. Unfortunately I started to bleed and during an 8-week scan we discovered there was no heartbeat and we then entered a completely different nightmare. Miscarriage is so common yet no one seems to talk about it and I felt completely lost and alone. It not only affects women but men as well and they are often the forgotten party during the aftermath. We experienced months of heightened emotions and feeling of helplessness, it was a loss that on one understood and we felt completely empty.

We have also found that our relationship and partnership has been tested to the max, in our case, thankfully, it has made us stronger as a couple, however, it isn’t over yet and this often isn’t the case for every couple going through the process.

During this journey we both have experienced a lot of tough times, it is not always easy to communicate calmly and succinctly with each other as our individual emotions are running high.

The Accentus Life Fertility Forum

As we have experienced so much on a personal level and have met so many people who have needed our help, we now want to share and to help others and that is why The Accentus Life Fertility Forum has been created:

We will be running informal, confidential, fun, interactive forum over a 12 week period.

In that time we will provide advice, share stories, and above all we will be forming a support network, so we can help one another.

The forum will:

• Allow couples to share their journeys, talk about their fears, their feelings, their thoughts, and to let go of any negativity that might be holding them back.
• We hope the meetings will be fun, and upbeat, not all about doom and gloom.
• I do want our couples to feel they are not alone, that help is available, that there is support and knowledge from others who are also going through or who have gone through the same thing.
• The group will allow people to build a support network so that in times of struggle they have people they can turn to, to help them.
• We will also provide additional advice and give the opportunity to learn about other avenues people can explore and there will be a chance to engage with high profile professionals who can help with:

Stress Management – Hypnotherapy, relaxation techniques etc.

Miscarriage counselling

Healing and remedies

Nutritional Advice

Acupuncture

Reflexology

Homeopath

The legal implications for alternative opportunities for birthing

The forum will arm you with support, knowledge, options, contacts and above all we will also share and explain about natural conception, IVF, adoption, surrogacy and other opportunities which are available to you as well.

There will also be an online forum so you can share your news and experiences and once the group ends so you can stay in contact, and update us of your journeys.

For women the natural assumption is it is your fault if you aren’t conceiving – I have had to endure several months of being told I haven’t done this right, or I am doing too much of something else. The pressure continued to build which again makes you feel lonely. For us this wasn’t the case at all and Jonno had to deal with the fact that the main issue surrounding us not conceiving was due to his sperm. This had a huge impact on his confidence, his pride was dented and he felt a failure.

For me I don’t feel like it is anyone’s fault at all and have never looked at conceiving in that way, but for Jonno he felt he couldn’t talk to me and took it very hard. Despite this we have pulled together through everything and have focused our energies on changing our lifestyle and reducing our stress levels, while working together in a partnership, taking the pressure off us as a couple and enjoying life.

Why should I take part?

Over the last few years we have been looking for support, to talk to people who understand how we feel, to help ease the pain and to offer help and advice, away from our immediate family. Yet during this time we have struggled to get answers from our GP, our friends no longer know what to say to us, they don’t fully understand how we are feeling or feel bad about talking about their own joys of family life through fear of upsetting us.

Having a support group, a network, which understands how we are feeling, would have made such a difference to us over the last few years. If you can relate to any part of our journey, feel alone, are struggling with communication and have felt like you aren’t being listened then this is your opportunity to change all that and start mixing with other couples who are in your position while receiving non medical advice from a selection of professional people who can introduce you to alternative coping mechanisms as well as answering any questions you have.

It is important to note this is not a medical group and the advice that is given is based around lifestyle changes as well as holistic approaches which can help with reducing stress, improving health and your general well being.

To find out more information please contact:

Emma on Tel 07967 092305

Email emma@accentus-management.co.uk

Or visit www.accentus-management.co.uk/fertilityforum

The price for the 12-week course is £500 or £50 per week per couple.

The courses will commence on Wed 1^st Oct from 7pm – 9pm

Where: Parkstone Bay Boat Club, Parkstone Bay Marina, Turks Lane, Poole, BH148EW